Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I Read Your Blog; Did You Read Mine?

Earlier this month, Chris blogged:

“I was telling my wife today that I felt sad that I really didn't know my mom or my dad too well. I mean, I know who they are and some of the things that they do, but I really don’t know them. And, it seems that the only way I get to know them better is by reading their blogs.”

Chris, of course, has hit the nail on the head. It takes real interest and effort to know and understand another person—even our own family members. Nevertheless, in reading blogs, sometimes we have to take some time to “read between the lines” in order to “see” the real person. A quick, impatient, disinterested skimming will yield little or nothing.

In choosing as my blog address, “speak that I may see thee,” I wanted to convey the truth that it is through the things that we say that we reveal ourselves. Each of us wants to be known, understood, and valued for who we really are. Robert Frost penned a short little poem about that need:

We make ourselves a place apart
Behind light words that tease and flout,
But oh, the agitated heart
Till someone find us really out.

’Tis pity if the case require
(Or so we say) that in the end
We speak the literal to inspire
The understanding of a friend.

But so with all, from babes that play
At hide-and-seek to God afar,
So all who hide too well away
Must speak and tell us where they are.

Interestingly, when someone is truly interested in us and what we have to say, and they show it, then we are much more likely to reciprocate. We will be more motivated to really know, understand, and value them, and what they have to say. “We love him, because he first loved us.”

I read some insightful words this morning about loving that could have been about the higher uses of blogging:

“Loving ... [or blogging] ... has a lot of sharing in it. ‘I saw something beautiful—look with me!’ ‘I heard something funny, laugh with me.’ ‘I have discovered a new fact, isn’t it interesting?’ ‘Something terrible has happened, grieve with me.’ ‘Or marvelous—rejoice with me’ – and let me enjoy with you what you have seen, heard, or learned. I will listen while you explain what I don’t yet understand. I want to hear what you care about.’”

To “connect” with others requires time and emotion. It requires generosity of spirit and the ability to take yourself from the center of the picture sometimes and put someone else there. We do that when we read and enjoy one another’s blogs. And say so.

I read your blog; did you read mine?



shydandelion said...

Yes, I do! :D

It's hard to remember some times that there is more behind a person than what they show on their faces, or write on their blogs...It IS easy to just skim, and not take any thought, and I am guilty of that.

I really like that idea about sharing. I know that some times my blogs are, "I heard something funny--laugh with me" and some times, they are "Something terrible has happened--grieve with me." It's nice knowing that there is someone out there who is willing to do just that.

Rebecca said...

I read every ones blogs... i blog because I am so far from my family and I want them to know what is going on...

I had asked one of my siblings if my blogs had been read and the response: "Your blogs are just you venting."

It made me sad and I didn't want to blog any more.

I love reading family blogs. It helps me stay connected. It makes me sad when there isn't a new post.

Chris said...

The only skimming I did at first was with Dad's blog, because of how many words I didn't know and how lazy I was with pulling out the dictionary; and, of just how long and wordy it was. But, I have gotten past that and am now able to read every word and enjoy it for what it is. No skimming for me! Besides, if you skim, you are sure to miss something.

But, yes mom, you are right. We have to take time to listen (or read) to understand someone. It is a skill that is acquired when one isn't so absorbed in onself, or other things, to appreciate what others do and or say. I found that family means so much more than getting a character to level 80 in World of Warcraft.

@Becky - really? Someone said that you were just venting. That is pretty messed up. Apparently, someone is jealous of your blog. The only thing that I thought way back when was your blogs were too religious. But that was before I was "born again", if that makes sense. It reminds me of last years family campout when one of my brother-in-law would start singing hymns in camp. I would make it a point to run out of the camp the moment he started. Partly to be funny, but also partly because my heart wasn't in the right place. I actually thought about being the one who did the hymn singing in Joe's, but it was too hot.

Katscratchme said...

I read, though I sometimes don't leave comments...
Blog-stalking.. that's me.
I appreciate everyone's comments on their lives and willingness to share. It's because of all the blogging that I figure the Parchments Newsletter (remember that?) is rather old fashioned (and a whole lot of work!)